So you just go in with roommate from Craigslist , and they seem skillful enough , right ? Wrong . Living with alien is awkward . You have no pick but to make them think you are a complete weirdo — how else are you run to know if they wet-nurse ? These tools should help .
It ’s clock time to intentionally strain that roommate relationship to find out what lies beneath the urbane personas you forgather at your interview . This is harmless clobber , really , but it will show you what your roommates are like when they get startled and stressed . We can only suggest possibilities . The execution is up to you . Remember , it ’s all about the context of what you do . Timing and surprise are everything . But go hard . The bad that ’s going to happen is you ’ll get kicked out by a bunch of sourpuss jerked meat , and who know , maybe you ’ll find out your roomie are cooler than you thought . [ Photo viaShutterstock / Blacqbook ]
Using the atmosphere horn to efficaciously inflict psychological trauma on your roomy is all about work up suspense in their minds about when it will next go off . Come home one day and place it off in front of your new roomies . You ’ll all have a good laugh about it , sure , but this is just the beginning . That night , waitress ’ til your roomy are legal asleep , kvetch in their door and allow this thing roar . Do n’t stop there . Keep doing setting off the horn at random times on an erratic agenda for a couple of weeks . It ’s like Chinese water torture . Your roommates will never log Z’s again . fillip points : do it when their significant other is drop the Nox . $ 5
A heavy - responsibility LED Lenser flashlight is an fantabulous implement of surprisal . It single - handedly outputs enough lumens to light an entire room on its own . On a nighttime when your roomie is coming home belatedly , unscrew the lightbulbs in their sleeping room pelt under the covers . Wait until they flip the light switch a few times and then pinpoint them with shot to the centre from the X21 will put them on their backs — possibly for minute . $ 500
Get one of these super sharp kitchen knives and stuff it in your roomie ’s sock draftsman . They probably wo n’t say anything the first time . Now await until you ’re both having dinner or drinking a beer with your roommate and have a really deep conversation about something personal involving knife . While they brush their teeth sneak the tongue in there again . They ’ll acknowledge who did it , and they ’ll be creeped out . $ 125
Bugs are gross to everyone , and you may seriously freak out your new roommate with a few well post fake I . We urge reaching out to the the great unwashed atFilm Fliesto get some really naturalistic , hollywood - quality bed microbe made . The only thing that creeps your roommate out more than the eldritch individual who just moved into their apartment is the bottom bugs that may or may not have moved in with them . Granted those are probably pretty expensive . A set of sleazy bastard hemipteran will do you just as well . $ 2.60
It ’s not too likely your roommates will think you are a murderous maniac just because you flash a realistic count mannequin head teacher — too unlikely — but you could still make them think you are a full nutcase . Get the mannequin point and wrap it up in loads of newsprint and backpacking tape recording so that you ca n’t tell what it is . get it in the freezer . Your roommate will want to have it away what the hellhole is train up all that place , but you will mulishly refuse to tell apart them or to do anything about it . look a few months . Sooner or later their curio will get the adept of them and boy will they be surprised . Bonus bespeak : Use a slob ’s head from the fuckup alternatively . $ 40
Fake bloodline might not be surprising around Halloween , but wait a duo calendar month and sully tons of gooey redness all over the bathroom . Lots of it . Everywhere . Like there was a bloody struggle — or speculative . Do it overnight so that your unsuspecting roommate wo n’t discover it until they cheat on into the privy half - at rest in the cockcrow . Talk about a rude wakening . Bonus points : Use brute blood . $ 20
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