A Will Smith movie that bombs at the box position ? An M. Night Shaymalan movie that people say could really be worse ? After Earth is just confusing as Scheol , and thus we ’ve decide to do your Frequently Asked Questions regarding the motion picture .
So some critic are call After Earth godawful , while some are saying it ’s not bad . Which is it ?
Actually , I thinkCharlie Jane has it precisely veracious — After Earth is a disappointment , mainly because it ’s not the schadenfreude - packed clusterfuck we ’ve come to gestate from M. Night Shyamalan .
https://gizmodo.com/shyamalans-new-film-is-a-huge-disappointment-because-510631618
So it ’s in reality good ?
Oh , goodness me , no ! It ’s quite bad .
I ’m confused .
After Earth is just a veritable bad movie , which is n’t well-nigh as fun to hate - lookout .
Okay . What ’s the tale ?
An emotionally nonadaptive male parent and his sloppy nincompoop of a Word crash - land on Earth , which has been quarantined for 1,000 years after we man get it on it up and go out . Dad break both his leg , so son has to walk 100 km to the other one-half of the spaceship ’s wreckage to find a beacon . This is bad because , as Will Smith ’s pappa tell , everything on Earth has evolved to kill humans .
What ? evolve to kill humans ? In 1,000 years ?
Yes .
That ’s not how evolution works .
https://gizmodo.com/new-after-earth-trailer-shows-m-night-has-no-idea-how-478500404
I cognise .
And why would animate being develop to kill man if there were n’t in reality any man around ?
Look , it does n’t matter , because the only two things that have in reality evolved to shoot down humans is a bug and saber - toothed tigers , although the tigers were just trying to get some giant eagle babe and just happen to find Jaden Smith inside their nest .
What about those monkeys from thatone clip ?
https://gizmodo.com/these-monkeys-dont-think-much-of-shyamalans-after-earth-506924706
Those monkeys have acquire to get relieve oneself off when a hysterical Jaden Smith screams and needlessly throw rocks at them .
What is wrong with this kid ?
A set . First , an unknown call an Ursa ( which bet nothing like a bear ) killed his sister when he was small ; he survived because she put him in a terrarium , and the Ursa can only track by the scent of fearfulness . Second , his dad is the greatest soldier ever and has the ability to “ ghost , ” i.e. , which is to say does n’t feel fear and thus does n’t smell , and also he is so emotionally distant from his Logos that it ’s kind of uproarious . Third , he ’s Jaden Smith .
Huh ?
Jaden Smith is a tough actor . I have nothing against the Kyd , I ’m sure he ’s nice , but his cinematic life history is due entirely to his pappa ’s checkbook and nothing to do with talent . Since there are fundamentally only two characters in this movie , and the other never leaves the ship , it ’s kind of problematic . It does n’t avail that he ’s dally a earthnut .
Who call someone a “ monkey nut ” anymore ? What is this , 1954 ? Are you Dennis the Menace ?
Sorry , it ’s the most clever word my brain can regain for the kid , who is supposedly gunning to be a badass Ranger like his dad , but instantly falls to pieces anytime anything happens .
Well , if his spaceship break up , I ’d say freak out out is pretty appropriate .
Yeah , he handles that fine , actually . But when he actually see a dead body ? He whimper and tries to prod it out of the agency with his foot . This is a buster try on to be a Starship Trooper , remember . Before the ship ram and he goes to the John Cage where they ’re transport the monster and the soldier make fun of the boy and dare him to get close to the coop — exactly like no soldier would ever do to the boy of a national hero , let alone the dude who technically salvage the human race — he ’s as skittish as a newborn colt drink Red Bull .
The monkey get pissed , and , despite the fact that they ’re not in reality attacking and that his begetter is telling him to just be calm ( over the suit , which I ’ll get too in a minute ) , Jaden make up one’s mind the unspoilt course of action is to freak out and drop shit at them , which of course of action works out poorly . Granted , he freaks out when he ’s poison by the aforementioned bug and loses his sight and ability to find his hands as he ’s seek to take the antidote , but I ’ll give him that one . And later , when Will Smith tells Jaden to abort the missionary post to get the beacon , he totally loses his shit and phone his dad a coward because he was off on a mission protecting the entire human subspecies instead of being home to protect his daughter ( or something ) .
Wait , why would Will Smith abort the mission ?
Because Jaden needs these lung - liners to breathe on Earth , and he break some in one of his tantrum fits , so he does n’t have enough to reach the ship on invertebrate foot .
But would n’t Will and Jaden expire anyway , if they do n’t get to the beacon ?
all .
… what do you intend “ on pes ” ?
Well , as Will Smith ’s hilarious Plot Point 2000 Computer tells him , Jaden probably can make the trip if he does a skyjump off the cliff he happens to be stand up on and glide most of the means there .
Why the hell does n’t Will Smith secern Jaden to jump off the damn cliff and save both their posterior ?
I have no thought . But it does n’t weigh because Jaden skip off the drop anyway .
…
Go ahead , take .
… without Will Smith telling him that the jump is a necessary choice ?
Yes . Actually , without even recite Jaden that jumping off a drop is even an option . He also does n’t seem to tell Jaden the suit has glide capabilities . For all intents and intent , Jaden just every which way toss himself off a cliff after yelling at his dad .
That ’s pretty dumb .
Yeah , but it works out , despite no one giving each other the necessary information and everyone making weird , dumb decision . Well , except for the giant bird of Jove who catch Jaden while he ’s flying and then attempt to feed him to its baby eaglet .
Is n’t that an animal that has evolved solely to shoot down homo ?
It ’s an animal that has evolve to snap up things that look like giant flight squirrels and then serve well them for brunch . Anyways , that ’s when those sabre - toothed LTTE attack , and Jaden handle to defend the nest , while somehow not saving any of the eaglet .
I – none ?
Not a one . And yet for his noble unsuccessful person , when Jaden is freezing to death — oh , the Earth no gets tops - cold for some understanding at Nox , enough to immobilise people to last , but there are random “ hotspots ” that somehow are n’t affected by the planet ’s temperature , I approximate — the bird of Jove dig a hole , grab Jaden , frame him in it , and then covers it up with her own body and die preserve Jaden warm .
That … that ’s ugly . Just really , really silent and well-worn and makes no good sense even based on the few pathetic rule that the movie has itself established .
That ’s not a question , but I accept it anyway .
Wait a fucking moment . So the animals have to go to these hotspots too ?
Apparently .
And these hot spot are n’t jam - packed with animal each Nox ?
Not that I can see .
And did n’t the jumbo eagle have a nest with newborn wench in it ?
Maybe the nest was a hot spot ?
ARRRGH .
bet , a gargantuan eagle turned itself into an eagle - down reliever to save Jaden Smith ’s life after he betray hold open its kids . The temperature discrepancy is n’t the dumb thing going on in this view , alas .
Sigh . So what ’s get out ?
Not much . Jaden puzzle to the wreckage and finds the beacon , but ca n’t get a signal . So he climbs up the nearby active volcano — one that literally has rivulets of lava put out from it — which is of course when the Ursa arrives . It chase Jaden around for a while until Jaden handily “ ghosts ” and stamp out it . He fires the beacon fire , they ’re saved , Will Smith observe his son because he did n’t act like a doofus at the very end of the movie , although he did n’t get to see it because he was pretty much unconscious from profligate loss and diddly-squat .
Hey , if Jaden is without fear does n’t that mean he ’s probably going to become an emotionless asshole like his dad ?
Probably . This is presuppose to be a glad ending , too .
Anything else I should know about the moving picture ?
You intend anything else dumb that I was n’t able to work organically into the FAQ ? Yes . First , the tech is ridiculous . It look pretty , but shit in the future break , really , really well — his lung liners , his arm guard , the first pharos , the ship , everything pass apart with just mild jostle .
What about Jaden ’s cause ?
The suit does n’t strike apart , but it does have two interesting abilities . The first is that the lawsuit changes semblance when it feel danger , although the sensor is on the face of it fucked , because it ’s in reality pretty random . When the non - threatening monkeys aggress ? Black as night , even before Jaden start mess up with them . When a bug is poison him ? The suite is beige or something .
What ’s the other thing ?
The causa not only shows Will Smith what Jaden meet back in the ship , but also is somehow conveniently capable to access thought film by the actual picture camera . Like , attend at Jaden from 10 feet in front of him . That ’s a neat suit !
The movie ’s run sentence in less than 100 minutes , which is jolly inadequate for a scifi epic now . Do you cognise why this is ?
Well , because it ’s an incredibly dim-witted story . Honestly , the film is padded out immensely , mostly with scenes of Jaden and Will strain to communicate to each other and failing for like a full minute before actual conversation starting line . Will ca n’t get Jaden to listen because he ’s freaking out . Jaden ca n’t get his dada to hear because he ’s delirious with pain . There ’s communicating problem . People repeat the same line over and over and over until the next soul at last speaks . Seriously , half this motion-picture show is Will and Jaden Smith not answering each other .
Here ’s a dubiousness : If the Ursa only see by fear , how the hell on earth do they get around ? It ’s not like trees fear them , so should n’t they be running into them constantly ?
I … I have no answer for that .
Can you give me one honorable reason to go see this movie ?
I ca n’t even give you one sorry intellect to see this movie .
Then I ’m afraid I ’m not run to chafe seeing it .
Okay , but remember , FEAR IS A CHOICE . And in this casing , it ’s probably the correct choice .
After EarthM. Night ShyamalanMovies
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